Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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