My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just want to make out with him forever
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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