It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
