dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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