Im at strip club and am horny
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
