I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize