now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize