He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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