I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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