Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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