just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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