Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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