check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
