u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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