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Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
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