To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
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We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
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I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.