Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
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