Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though