You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.