One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.