Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
no you cant smoke seaweed
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.