Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
