Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize