I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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