if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
