Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
