Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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