Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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