Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize