so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
