didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
i think my cat just said my name.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
