Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
