My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
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