Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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