careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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