i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
