i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
only if we run a train.
done.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
