Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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