I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
