I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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