Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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