these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
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You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
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She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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