All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
