would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Who put my cat in the fridge?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
