4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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