So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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