Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
