Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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