She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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