Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
