I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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