he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
