can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
We need to rekindle our bromance
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
