Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
