not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize