Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
