I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
