So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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