If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize