Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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