Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
