I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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