I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
