You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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